Dig

Stumbling down the dark, wet street, neglecting the lit cigarette barely adhering to my exhausted and dumbfounded countenance, I am struck by my own cosmic absurdity, and then, for a welcome moment, that peculiar and unexpected euphoria in the midst of failure.

Filed

Ugmanaco Wadi sat alone at the restaurant table and amused himself with determining whether the flowers were fake or not - but without touching them, without going straight for the grab, as so often, he observed to himself, people had wasted this very purpose that flowers were put on tables anymore.

Metaphysical Nougat

I began the day with one of those Ultimate Chicken Grill sandwiches, which always made me wonder who else in the world I was picking over that particular chicken carcass with - food for thought.

No Comment

At this point, I will admit that I am corrupt, so that I no longer need suffer any distraction from my true good intentions.

A La Mode

Effie Scruggs had an easy life, selling guitars to generation after generation of would-be rock star college kids.

Note To Self

I came, I saw, I so-whatted.

Last Of The Last

Mortimer Pickett was as greedy as the next pig, but he had no desire to be so common as to grapple after money the way those others did.

Things That Go Bump In The Day

3am - the masses, the buyers and sellers, the politicians, the busybodies - unconscious, numb, and therefore incapable of spewing their static; and yet, even now, they are incubating another lousy day for one another.

Brute Force

As Lou became aware of the monotonous, shrill beeping of the alarm clock, he thought again how irritating it is that some accident of celestial mechanics had left the inhabitants of this particular planet with not enough hours in the day.

Left Unsaid

No more - my whole life had been held captive by noble sentiment, and now, a terrible and beautiful cynicism barked with joy in my cellar as I planned to free it.

Flush

At some point in life, I realized that as compensation for my on-going tortures, nature had designed to give me a long life.

Chain Inaction

The day was getting late, very late - very very late - and still as yet I had not come to any decisive determination of what I would fail to get done that day.

Mumbo Jumbo

Doctor Gerben Wisniewski was on the cusp of a very great scientific discovery, the moment approaching too quickly, leaving no time to flesh out the "Eureka!" type antics he always hoped the world would remember him for.

Out Of Whack

Septimus Berg filtered through the handful of change that came back from the nacho purchase and promptly disposed of all pennies in the trash can - an activity that always provided a curious sensation worth more than a few cents.

One For The Road

Luis couldn't wait to get his grubby little hands all over the information I had, and something about that made me want to mislead him just for the hell of it.

Camel's Back

Joe was a family man working his whole life away at a furious slow-burn.

Left For Alive

There was a moment in my life when everything became a kind of sappy poetry to me.

On Sale Here

The hotel lobby buzzed with the incessant activities of so many busy bodies, while on the floors above, an army of maids worked carefully to again redo what had just been again undone.

Last Gas

The day had the consistency of packaged macaroni and cheese right before it seizes up.

Last Rung

To begin with, I was successful and I had become a household name, though only for something which merely filled a market need.

Try, Try Again

It was on this day in 1976 that I was nearly drowned in the vat of a Vienna lager - or was it an Oktoberfest?

2am World

Some people have never met a stranger and some people have only met strangers.

Generic Adventure

The meeting began with a preposterous flush of idiocy.

Nothing But

I do not know whether it is best to speak of myself in the present or in the past.

High Horse

The time had come for me to make a mess - for anything less than a mess would have resulted in a sticky situation.

Big Pond

At the drive through window, Bob pondered the flattened black gum wads condensing slowly on the passenger side concrete, where eons of anxious eaters impulsively discarded their chews with the impending arrival of the eats.

Last Laugh

It always gave me a bit of a disappointment to consider that we have always lived in the past and no one will ever live to see the future - and yet, to think that we might already be living in the future never sat well either.

One Fell Swoop

It is confounding that I always most love the latest era of my life and yet, I hate this getting older.

Suburban Sunset

As I prepared the vegetable platter for this evenings party, it occurred to me again how strange it is that people will eat such small amounts of raw vegetation by itself, but by adding a big, disgusting bowl of fatty dressing they will eat a virtually unlimited amount.

Murder At Snubsbury Manor

"Mummy!" exclaimed Monte in an indignant tone, "if Charlton can have a yacht, why can't I have the Rolls Royce?"

Wrinkled Horizon

It was at that extravagant cocktail party in New York, mingling among all the spiritual phonies and their gurus, that I felt a very naughty kind of smugness take hold, deciding then and there that my ashes would dust the Machu Picchu gift shop.

The Trash Can Chronicles

I'd sooner collect the napkins and other garbage of celebrities than end up as one of those people whose only passion is to find something to be passionate about - so this then, became my passion.

One Thing And Another

I have worn many hats, and my hair has gotten messed up.

Flop

"You don't get something for nothing," I always heard Stewart say as we were growing up and all during his meteoric rise to local celebrityship - and I'd always agree, but it never stopped me from wondering what exactly a person got for something.

The Dumb Luck Diaries

Robert Harrington was a naive young lad with more than a bit of a spoiled streak, very much the kind of boy who grew up thinking of politics as a generic career option, as something you "go into", and indeed, he received every kind of ignorant encouragement to think of it as such.

All You Can Eat Buffet

"Let's have one of those cigarettes," I declared to a disheveled man at the bus stop even though I don't smoke - since just then I was needing to talk plainly to somebody, and I knew that strangers who smoked together had a way of cutting through the crap with each other, or so I had noticed.

Means To An End

There it was, waiting, like a hair in pink frosting, waiting to be noticed and matter-of-factly plucked away with painted fingernails and an uncomfortable grace, or left to awaken, screaming and vomiting over everything until nothing of the party could be rescued - waiting, in that intolerable moment between now and never.

The Completely Wasted Life of Greggor Bolognakov

"Change?" mumbles Greggor to the blase cashier after being roused from his checkout line stupor, "I don't need change."