High Horse

The time had come for me to make a mess - for anything less than a mess would have resulted in a sticky situation.

Big Pond

At the drive through window, Bob pondered the flattened black gum wads condensing slowly on the passenger side concrete, where eons of anxious eaters impulsively discarded their chews with the impending arrival of the eats.

Last Laugh

It always gave me a bit of a disappointment to consider that we have always lived in the past and no one will ever live to see the future - and yet, to think that we might already be living in the future never sat well either.

One Fell Swoop

It is confounding that I always most love the latest era of my life and yet, I hate this getting older.

Suburban Sunset

As I prepared the vegetable platter for this evenings party, it occurred to me again how strange it is that people will eat such small amounts of raw vegetation by itself, but by adding a big, disgusting bowl of fatty dressing they will eat a virtually unlimited amount.

Murder At Snubsbury Manor

"Mummy!" exclaimed Monte in an indignant tone, "if Charlton can have a yacht, why can't I have the Rolls Royce?"

Wrinkled Horizon

It was at that extravagant cocktail party in New York, mingling among all the spiritual phonies and their gurus, that I felt a very naughty kind of smugness take hold, deciding then and there that my ashes would dust the Machu Picchu gift shop.

The Trash Can Chronicles

I'd sooner collect the napkins and other garbage of celebrities than end up as one of those people whose only passion is to find something to be passionate about - so this then, became my passion.

One Thing And Another

I have worn many hats, and my hair has gotten messed up.

Flop

"You don't get something for nothing," I always heard Stewart say as we were growing up and all during his meteoric rise to local celebrityship - and I'd always agree, but it never stopped me from wondering what exactly a person got for something.

The Dumb Luck Diaries

Robert Harrington was a naive young lad with more than a bit of a spoiled streak, very much the kind of boy who grew up thinking of politics as a generic career option, as something you "go into", and indeed, he received every kind of ignorant encouragement to think of it as such.

All You Can Eat Buffet

"Let's have one of those cigarettes," I declared to a disheveled man at the bus stop even though I don't smoke - since just then I was needing to talk plainly to somebody, and I knew that strangers who smoked together had a way of cutting through the crap with each other, or so I had noticed.

Means To An End

There it was, waiting, like a hair in pink frosting, waiting to be noticed and matter-of-factly plucked away with painted fingernails and an uncomfortable grace, or left to awaken, screaming and vomiting over everything until nothing of the party could be rescued - waiting, in that intolerable moment between now and never.

The Completely Wasted Life of Greggor Bolognakov

"Change?" mumbles Greggor to the blase cashier after being roused from his checkout line stupor, "I don't need change."